Substack

Coaching is a set of highly effective communication skills used with purpose and intention. They are easy to identify but require practice and patience to master over time. The more often you use these skills in low-stakes conversations, talking with your friends over coffee or chatting with a colleague between meetings, the more comfortable you’ll feel accessing them when complicated situations arise. Coaching is a collection of deliberate communication moves you make throughout a conversation. While there isn’t a strict format you have to follow, every coach relies on five essential skills: Listen, Pause, Reflect, Frame, and Inquire.

Coaches listen to what is between and beyond the words. They focus on key themes, connections, emotions, or implications found in the speaker's words. When listening like a coach, you’re paying attention to the broader context of the speaker's words rather than getting caught up in unnecessary details. Coaches don’t get bogged down by a laundry list of complaints about someone’s coworkers, they hone in on the speaker’s concerns about team culture and a lack of connectedness. As they listen, coaches clear their minds, centering their focus entirely on the speaker.